What Is An Emotional Vampire?
An emotional vampire is someone who consciously or unconsciously evokes emotions in others specifically to feed on the triggered emotional energy.
Psychologist Judith Orloff used the term emotional vampires in her book Emotional Freedom.
Orloff highlights four different types of emotional vampires and links each one to various psychological disorders:
– The Narcissist (narcissistic personality)
– The Victim (dependent personality)
– The Controller (obsessive-compulsive personality)
– The Splitter (borderline personality)
We could say that everyone is an emotional vampire. Different circumstances, situations, conditions determine the level and degree of our vampirism.
To assess our level and degree of emotional vampirism, we can start reflecting on how energy flows in our lives, in terms of energy going in and out our system.
Here are some ideas:
– Physical aspect: diet (what we eat, how we eat), physical exercise, money (do we have enough? How do we spend it?), Wellbeing (how do we contribute to our wellbeing?), safety (do we feel safe? Are all our survival needs met?), grounding, sense of belonging.
– Emotional aspect: Relationships (relationships with other people as well as relationship we have with ourselves), self-esteem, communication (with ourselves/other people).
– Mental aspect: quality of our thoughts, addictions, beliefs. What do we eat/put in our mind? What thoughts/energy do we send out into the collective?
– Spiritual aspect: How do we connect to life? What is our understanding of the process of dying? How do we relate to nature? How do we contribute to humanity?
Another aspect we could consider is: where is our source of power? Do we need to take power from outside of ourselves? What gives us power? Do we function through power or through force?
David R. Hawkins, author of the book ‘Power vs Force: The Hidden Determinants of Human Behaviour states:
“Force is re-active and below the level of courage, it arises when we feel shame, fear, anger, and pride. Power is above the level of courage and is pro-active, it comes when we operate from a higher consciousness of love and live with courage, will, and reason.“
In the absence of a sense of completeness, of feeling whole, we seek sources outside of ourselves for what’s missing. And this unconscious drive often leads us to vampirism—to stealing the energy, light, and luck from others.
So , if everyone is an emotional vampire, why don’t we notice?
We don’t necessarily perceive ourselves to be emotional vampires, because most of our thinking and actions are unconscious. In fact, various studies shows that over 90% of our behaviour is unconscious.
Also, through the process of projection, we all project out of ourselves onto others our own negative traits, unwanted emotions, desires, beliefs. So, we do not see them, we think that the problem is someone else.
Are Psychic/Energy Vampires Different From Emotional Vampires?
The difference is that when we take into account the psychic and spiritual dimension of a human being we necessarily have to consider esoteric aspects.
The aura is a beautiful field of ever changing energy patterns that completely surrounds all living things. The aura is composed of several layers with the denser layers of energy being closest to the human body and the finer and higher vibrations furthest from the physical body.
The aura is created by all of your thoughts and feelings, conscious and unconscious as well as the energies flowing through the physical body. Your state of health is reflected in the aura as well as affected by the condition of the aura and, in fact, many feel that the original cause of both illnesses and health is in the aura.
When our aura is strong, similarly to our immune system we are less vulnerable to dis-ease. In energetic terms, we are less likely to leak energy and to give it away to other people. We are also less likely to absorb energies from other people and environments.
Consequently, when we think our own wellbeing we must have a holistic view of who we really are and all are aspects: physical, emotional, mental, energetic and spiritual.
We must be willing to go into our shadow and understand our hidden aspects. We must be courageous enough to search for our fragmented parts and be willing to heal them and integrate them back within us.
That is what brings true healing, and the more we heal and integrate, the more we become whole and less vulnerable to external factors.
We finally find the source of power within ourselves.
The Vampire Archetype – Caroline Myss
The Vampire is a mythic creature associated with both blood-sucking and eroticism. Vampires require blood, which they get by biting the neck of their victims during a nocturnal visit.
The female victim has been portrayed in the paradoxical circumstances of wanting to repel the Vampire while at the same time welcoming the erotic nature of the connection. The Vampire returns every evening to his source of life until there is no more to be had.
The parallels between human lust and vampiric blood-lust are rich: as the Vampire satisfies his thirst for blood, his host grows increasingly helpless and submissive, eventually being drained of any capacity for self-protection. Symbolically, this relationship speaks of the power dynamics that frequently drive male-female relationships, in which the male drains the power of the female for his own psychic survival, and, once bitten, the female submits even though this will eventually take all of her power. (In some relationships, of course, the roles can easily become reversed.)
Beyond the sexual level, we sometimes form psychic attachments to others because we desire their energy, a desire that manifests through a need for approval, a need to have the “other” take care of our survival, and a fear of being abandoned.
What has been defined as a co-dependent relationship could easily fall under the Vampire template. You may find it hard to identify yourself as a Vampire, yet it is essential to review this archetype personally.
Patterns of behaviour such as chronic complaining, over-dependency, holding on to a relationship emotionally or psychically long after it has ended, and chronic power struggles are all indicators of Vampire patterns. Holding onto someone on the psychic level is as real as holding on to them on the physical.
Interest in the Vampire archetype has re-emerged through the literary and entertainment fields. It may well be that the archetypal opening of humanity’s psyche during these past five decades has resurrected the Vampire, empowering it with a force on the psychic plane of consciousness that was not engaged prior to this time.
Films: Bela Lugosi in Dracula; Tom Cruise in Interview with a Vampire.
Fiction: Dracula by Bram Stoker; The Vampire Chronicles by Anne Rice; “The Vampyre: A Tale” by John Polidori.
Religion/Myth: Vlad Tepes, aka Vlad The Impaler (in fifteenth-century Walachia–in modern Romania–a bloodthirsty count who reportedly impaled and beheaded his enemies); Langsoir (Malayan vampire, a woman who died in childbirth and now assaults infants and children).
Warning Signs There Are Energy Vampires In Your Life
1. You feel drained and exhausted
2. You have vague and unexplainable aches and pain
3. You are more negative, pessimistic and judgemental than usual
4. You have hard time setting healthy boundaries
5. You feel particularly anxious and depressed
6. You keep having weird dreams or nightmares
7. You are experiencing unwanted thoughts and emotions
8. You feel guilty when you say ‘yes’ and want to say ‘No’
How To Deal With Energy Vampires – A Few Tips
– Get to know your shadow
– Understand your how your energy system works
– Develop self-awareness
– Take back your projections
– Cut them away from your life
Giancarlo is a fully qualified Hypnotherapist and Past Life Regression Therapist. He is a registered with the Complementary & Natural Healthcare Council, the Federation of Holistic Therapists, the Spiritual Regression Therapy Association and the General Hypnotherapy Register. Read more.